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Visit to the V spa

“Do you have any idea how distracting ‘Vagina Spa’ is as a phrase?”

Said my friend Anthony when I was telling him what my next article was going to be about. Apologies to the lucky friends who I have discussed this with, it was a bit like a weird lead up to Christmas for me, but to be honest it was so wild and mysterious that I had to share the anticipation with someone, and now I am frivolous enough to share it with the whole world apparently.

Except maybe my dad (dad, stop reading here please.. no, I mean it stop)

Fruit Vagina

Having no idea whatsoever and being strictly instructed not to research what to expect from a ‘Vagina Spa’, there were some very good, strong guesses flying around. “Perhaps it’s a tiny massage” “Maybe it’s some sort of fruit salad face pack but for down there”, “It could be an old fashioned metal probe stick” Ok, stop.

So how was your Monday morning? Mine was spent with my legs as far apart as they’ve probably ever gone (hard to believe I know), having my vagina ‘steamed’ with a herbal blend of essential oils and betelnut (?!) “As in the Canggu café?” “No, as in the nut” at the Cleopatra Luxury Salon & Day Spa in Seminyak, Bali.

Vaginal vaping (as I like to call it) or a Quenn V-Steam as they like to call it, is a 30 minute treatment offered at a special few spas in Bali, and the treatment is an ancient Asian method of detoxifying the vaginal passage with herb infused smoke or steam.
The Balinese princesses would be ‘smoked’ before marrying kings, and some Javanese women still perform this age-old ritual after every menstruation through method of cleansing, purifying and rejuvenating. Traditionally known as Ratus, it involves various herbs being positioned in various ‘folds’ and the ‘smoking out’ of your VJ.

Here at Cleopatra Spa, I was informed that the method had been updated for hygiene purposes from smoking to steaming.
With teenage boy anticipation I dropped all my clothes, wrapped a sarong around myself and sat legs spread on what can only be described as a throne with a hole in the middle of the seat. Fit for a Princess.

As I was sat there casually, having my vagina ‘vaped’, gazing out the window while my back and shoulders were massaged in the firm Balinese manner I’ve come to know and love, I thought to myself ‘wow, what a great idea this is’.

Because if you think about it, what other methods of intimate care are there out there for this area? You can get body massages, facial scrubs, waxes, tans, baths, even colonics… but so far nothing has been so delicately attentive to this area that I have noticed. Sorry ex boyfriends, not even you.

So how did it feel? Well apart from the couple of comical leaping off the throne times when the steam got a little too on the steamy side, and the bizarre yet not unpleasant sensation of your vagina producing condensation, it was very refreshing, and felt like a real pampering sesh.

I skipped, well walked consciously out of the spa to get a well deserved papaya juice on the way home 😉

Fruit Vagina



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